This weight thing is a B-tch.  I'm so disgusted with myself.  The old me is back and it is a struggle fighting her off.  Just seems like I cannot stay in control long enough to start a weight loss trend.  I have good days and bad days that cancel out the good days so I'm stuck.  AGAIN.  Trying very hard to get in the right mind set to stay strong and make it through.  I did go back to Medi but I do not want to got back on the medication.  I want to prove I can do this without a crutch, so I met with Darlene on of the counselors last week and she suggested a week of protein only at 500-600 calories and then go back in a month to get weighed in and for more counseling.  I know I can do it once I become consistent.

I have Bad News/Good News

Argghh...not doing so good with this stop and reversing the rebound weight.  Up almost 20 pounds from my goal weight and feeling tired and sluggish.  Had to come back to the blog to remind myself of all my progress from 2 years ago.  While I think going back to Medi had it's merits I was a little concerned about being on the medication again and having another rebound so I haven't been back there since April and obviously did not do so well without any plan or accountability.  I have decided to tough it out without the crutch of the medication and doing it "naturally."  Installed My Fitness Pal app on my phone so I can journal what I eat.  I think I still need some level of accountability so blogging again about it is one way and also visiting with Medi and see what we can do without the medication if anything.  If I can't do anything with them without going on the meds, I will seek an alternative program.  I refuse to go back to my starting weight.  I have way too many cute outfits in my closet in my smaller size that I intend on wearing again before the end of the summer.  I do have some GOOD news though.  Thanks to this blog, I attracted the attention of a writer from Allure magazine who wanted to interview me about my experience Medi Weight Loss.  I hope I provided some good information for her research and I hope they are positive about Medi.  Even though I had some weight gain, I know it was my fault as is the problem with every weight loss program I have done in the past.  If you don't make the changes permanent the weight will rebound. The good thing about Medi is that once you are a patient and go back within a year of your last visit, you don't have to pay the initiation fee again so I will be making another visit to sit and visit with my counselors.  I'm glad the writer contacted me because having to admit that I gained the weight has motivated me to get back on track and that is a GOOD thing.