Day 92- I made Par ...

...on my dress size that is. Well in golf, the lower your score is the better. Another area where a lower number is good is in dress size. I am proud to say that I am now in single digits. I ventured out shopping the other day. With a trip to the "club" with my mom and dad for Easter dinner, I needed a dress to wear. While I was at "Dress Barn" (shopping in Cape Coral is really limited and we are hardly the fashion capital of the world), I saw 2 dressses I liked. One was good for Easter dinner and the other would be perfect for an event we have coming up in May. I picked a size 8 in the floral dress for Easter and tried it on and it fit nicely. Unfortuantely, the one I liked for the other event was not available in an 8 but they had a 6. I thought, well it may not fit now but it might in another month when have reached my goal of losing 40 pounds of which I have 5 more to go. I tried the size 6 on and it fit. It is just so awesome to pick out clothes in a smaller size. What was even nicer was when I asked the sales associate if she had a little jacket to wear over one of the dresses, she said well we only have larges left and that would be too big for you...I felt like a gong went off in my head....someone said a large would be too big for me. Having always looked at size L and XL clothes for so long it was nice to hear someone say it that size would be too big for me.

This week, I lost 1/2 pound. I think it was because I had a couple of days where I might have snacked a little too much (on approved items only) and my walking had petered out toward the end of the week because work got heavy. I think the other thing that was happening was my "time of the month." I am not upset and know that I will have a loss next week. Illeny the dietitian suggested that I stick strictly to the plan and eliminate the snacks and make sure I get my walking in. She was very encouraging and we had a great conversation. I expressed a little concern about what happens after I reach goal and that I am a little apprehensive about reaching goal and getting to maintenance. I am afraid that once I'm off the medication, shots, etc. that I will go to bed one night and wake up and all the fat will be back. She said the only way that will happen is if I put the food in my mouth. She broke down the steps after I go on maintenance and wrote it down on a post-it note for me to take and I felt a little better. I will be fine. I can't go back to that old size...I like my new dresses to much to not have them fit any more.

Day 85 - Happiness and Satisfaction

Okay, it is Tuesday and time for another blog post about my weight...Are you guys getting bored of these yet. I'm not bored of them I'm just trying to figure out what to make this week's post about. I am happy that I am almost to goal and happy that Yancy, the dietitian I met with today told me I needed to get smaller clothes...I am happy that I have all the barriers to being a healthy weight licked....so I guess the theme for this week post is being happy. I'm just so doggone happy! In speaking with my mom today, who knows me all to well, told me today that I finally have the right mind set this time. And that really is all it takes is having the right mind set. Maybe that is why I am so happy. Because I realize that I can tackle a major challenge and be victorious. I think really the only time I tackled this sort of challenge with this much satisfaction at the end is getting Bachelors degree. I was never a kid who liked school. I was there just for the social aspect of it ever since I was a little kid. I liked seeing my friends and looked forward to recess and between classes to be able to socialize with them. In elementary school my best friend who lived on the corner and I liked to be dropped off a few blocks before school so that we could walk to school with our friends who lived closer to the school. In middle school, I loved when it was time to change classes so I would have a few minutes to chat with a friend or flirt with a boy. In high school, there was lunch, and between classes at the lockers gossiping and flirting. I just used to love to hear that bell ring because it meant it was time for Cindy to socialize. It was almost the same in college. I loved to socialize then too but I did get a little more serious about my studies and worked hard. Once I got close to getting my AA degree from the community college, I had decided I wanted to go on to get a BA. So I worked hard for that too. To go from a person who hated school to a person with a college degree it was a push for me and every little victory (passing an exam, finishing a paper, or getting an A in a class) was filled with so much satisfaction and spurred me on to the next goal. I hate that I had to get to 181 pounds and have to work hard at losing it to feel that satisfaction again but I guess that is what happens in life. So where am I this week...after 12 weeks, I lost another 2 pounds this week for a total of 34 pounds. Six more pounds to go. The success this week is compounded because it was actually 2 pounds of fat. They can tell that by that magical computer scale that I stand on. It gives what percentage of your weight is fat, water, etc. My fat lb number was down the 2 pounds. My total fat weight is down 30 pounds. When I started my fat mass weight 79.2 pounds and today it is 49.5 pounds. I'm so close to goal and I am so ready to go on maintenance --- mainly because I'm tired of paying them every week now, nah I'm just ready to start living my life as a normal, THIN, person. Well, the money spent on the program can now start going to a new wardrobe....so...shopping will make me happy and therefore weight loss makes me happy and satisfied. Have a happy day.

I think the walking did it. I finally engaged in the "E" word regularly and it really helped with the weight loss this week I believe. It actually was not too painful and the weather has been perfect. With the help of our dog Bandit and my new Droid phone, which now carries an app so I can listen to music and/or my favorite radio talk show, I was able to walk in 30-40 minutes sessions over the weekend. So, how did I do today with my weigh-in....well, I am down another 2.5 pounds for a total of 32 pounds. I put that in big font because I broke another 10 pound barrier. It still feels so good to see the scale move. The nurse also measured my waist today and it is down ----here's another big font -- 5 inches. I am starting week 12 and still have the momentum but Yancy, the dietitian and I talked about cravings as I am getting chocolate cravings and did indulge slightly with chocolate covered almonds this past weekend. I monitored my intake and controlled myself and I did do the exercise to help offset any extra calories or carbs. Yancy gave me a tip to get some Swiss Miss Diet Hot Chocolate. It is only 25 calories and 4 carbs and I can add a little Cool Whip Free. It is not something I will make a habit of because it defeats the purpose of getting off sweets but once in a while when those female monthly cravings hit, it is a very safe alternative to indulging in any other kind of chocolate and blowing what I got going. (ha, I'm a poet and I don't know it).

The psychological aspect of what is going on right now is that even my pajamas are to big for me. Weird thing to thing about but I'm going to have to get some PJs in a smaller size. It is just amazing to me to get dressed and have my clothes hanging on me. I'm still dealing with that. That...and the fact that I don't think my weight has been below 150 since before I got pregnant with Carrie (17 or so years ago). WOW. That just blows my mind. So, I'm not clothes shopping yet seriously yet but I'm already thinking about an Easter dress and a dress for an annual fund raiser we go to, which is on May 1 (uh huh, that's my birthday). Looking forward getting off the Acute Weight Loss phase and on to the Short-Term Maintenance phase of the program, which will hopefully be around the 1st or 2nd week of April as I have 8 pounds to go now!

Day 72 - Stopped Rearranging Chairs on the Titanic

Today, I've done something I never thought I would do. I had my acrylic nails taken off. This seemingly small thing has actually very deep psychological roots oddly enough. When I think back as to why I had the nails put on in the first place it was because I perceived myself as being unfinished. I always admired people with nice nails and always thought they looked so put together. So because I had difficulties maintaining my own nails, I sought out getting acrylic nails and have had them on for approximately 8 years or so. I think in my mind, that having perfect nails meant I was put together and paid attention to detail about my appearance but I was ignoring the biggest part of my appearance. My weight. I was not dealing serious enough about my weight. So, I realize now, that was kind of like rearranging chairs on the Titanic. Doing little things but not really dealing with the big problem. I had come to that realization prior to my starting Medi Weightloss when I would sit at the nail salon and watch other women getting their nails done. There were women in the salon that were my size and larger. I thought to myself. Look at them, they are so worried about their appearance that they are getting their nails done but why? Why, when their bodies are so big are they worrying about such a little detail...well, I turned that mirror back on myself rather quickly. I realized I was doing it for the same reasons they were. They couldn't control their weight so they were, like me, making themselves feel better by attending to their nails. So, now that I've lost 30 pounds and I'm feeling good about myself, I can stop rearranging the chairs. I have tackled the bigger problem. I think I would appreciate the natural nail look a lot more now. So my weigh-in was yesterday and I was down another 1.3 pounds for a total weight loss of 29.5.

To see Day 70 post - click here

Day 70 - Post Jersey Boys Euphoria

This is mom and I in the theater before the show. It was awesome!!!! The singing, the music, the dancing, everyting was fabulous. Great story of the rise and fall of the Four Seasons all set to their own music. I didn't get a full shot of me but I can see how my face has thinned out a lot from 70 days ago. I did find something to wear at Belk. iIt is the white tank and cardigan set with a pair of charcol gray pants. The top is a medium and the pants are a 10. Looking forward to getting down to a single digit size again. Four more weeks and I should be there.

The show started at 6:30 so mom and I went out to eat at about 4 so it was really a late lunch early dinner. We went to a restaurant called Cru and they were only serving lunch as they closed at 5 on Sundays. Since the weather was nice, we dined al fresco. The menu was very limited but I had no problem finding food that fits my program. I had 3 broiled scallos topped with raw Ahi tuna. I asked them to leave off any glaze or sauce. The scallops were sweet and tender and the Ahi (which I love) was mild and did't over power the scallops. I did "cheat" a little and had a glass of Chardonay to go with it. Weigh-in is tomorrow so I'm anxious to see where I am and hoping my scale at home is within 1 pound of the one at the clinic which it has been all along.

Day 69 - First Goal Achieved

Today is the day I set for my self to get to 150 pounds. It is the day I chose because I am going to see the show Jersey Boys tonight with my mom. If you remember from my first post from December I got the ticket as a Christmas gift and my goal was to lose the weight and wear a really cute outfit in a smaller size to the show. Actually only 2/3 of the goal is achieved. I have lost the weight, I am in a smaller size, but I don't have the cute outfit. Obviously, everything in my closet is too big (I stood in there yesterday trying everything on and I have no pants that fit and none of the tops work for a cool evening). I went shopping yesterday, when I really felt like shopping for clothes, and could not find anything that I liked. I don't know what is about the style this season but the clothes are all hideous colors and patterns that I would never wear. I would have thought I could find something but what I did like was either too casual, too dressy, or too business-like. So what am I doing? Well, I'm running up to another store this morning to find a black pair of slacks to wear with an okay sweater that I have. I don't think I wore the sweater much because it is off white and it did not hide my muffin top. Why I bought it I don't know but at least it is an option for tonight. Maybe I'll see something else I want to wear tonight when I am getting the black pants. The down side of losing weight (if there could be one) is wardrobe in the transition. You don't want to spend money buying clothes as you are losing but at the same time you want to look half way descent. A good problem to have, perhaps, because it is short-lived. I will hopefully post a first goal picture when I take one tonight with my Mom. Can't wait for the show. I'm already singing all the songs it is going to be so much fun.

Day 64 - Jersey Boys on the horizon.

Okay so here I am starting week 10...Lots of good things going on, weight is coming off and I had a good weigh-in today. I am within 2.8 pounds of my first goal weight, which was 150 pounds. I lost 2.4 pounds this week and my total weight loss is 28.2 pounds. Sunday, March 7 is just around the corner and that is when I am going to the show the Jersey Boys with my mom at the performing arts hall. Mom and dad got me the ticket for Christmas...please reference my before picture in my sidebar. That is what I looked like on Christmas and my goal was to get to 150 by March 7....I don't weigh in again until Tuesday, March 9 but I'm positive by then I should have shed the 2.8 pounds, meaning that I made my first goal! That makes me feel really good, especially after setting goals and failing to meet them so many times in the past. I have never been more committed than I am now and I am so glad that I have the support of Medi Weightloss clinic between the biological support of the shots, supplements, and medication and the one-on-one counseling support every week, I have been so happy.

I also feel really good when I assess the statistics. One great thing about Medi Weightloss is that they give you more to look at when you are losing than just your weight. There are other measurements such as Fat Mass, Fat mass percentage, body water weight, and BMI that they measure. I am just as equally amazed at my progress in those areas as well. For example, When I first started Medi on December 29, 2009, my fat mass was 72.5 pounds. Today, my fat mass measured at 54.0 pounds. That is a decrease in 18.5 pounds. The total Fat % went from 40.1 to 35.3% and my BMI went from 30.1 (lower limit of normal for the obese range agghhh) and it is now 25.1, which is just slightly above the upper limit of normal for the normal weight range. They also measure waist circumference and my waist measurement on signing up at Medi...was 38 inches (ughh, embarrassing) now it is 34. I lost 4 inches off my waist and my loose clothing is a testament to that. I am not usually a statistics kind of person but it is fun to see the changes in terms of numbers and really helps keep things in perspective when I see the progress I am making besides the number on the scale. I am really looking forward to going to the show on Sunday. The reviews have been in the paper and I am even more psyched about how good it is going to be. I am also looking forward already to my weigh-in on Tuesday. My final goal is 140 pounds and that is within reach within the next month.

Thanks again for all your support and for following this journey with me. Have a happy week!